My Life (part 60)

For Sally and Trenton during the next few years farming was all but replaced by business.  Without Sarah’s new government it would have been much worse.  As the Earth pulled out of the massive needs created by wars the people of Earth no longer were willing to accept Jasper’s World’s every request.  The Earth wanted long term associations with Jasper’s to be fair.  Jasper’s World also looked for fair and even trading with Earth.  The problems that needed to be ironed out had to do with Earth wanting a slight advantage at the same time Jasper’s wanted a slight advantage.  With war technology being applied more and more to private industry communication between Earth and Jasper’s became better and faster.  Travel back and forth between each planet still occupied much of the time Trenton would have preferred to spend in the fields even though travel time to Earth had been shortened to thirty-three hours when using the latest gravity drive ships.  Sally and Trenton spent whole weeks inside walls of ships and buildings.  

“We need delegates,” Trenton said sitting in an overly soft recliner with an actual view of space.

“You say that all the time,” Sally answered as she walked from the galley of the small, personal sized, space ship.  They were the only two humans on the ship.  A computer was trusted to make most of the important decisions relating to their flight back from Earth.

“Remember that first field in production outside of Bakersfield, California, Earth?  Remember how we were both repulsed by the lack of hands on farming? Watching those banks of computers direct machines while what Earth called farmers pushed buttons and tapped screens?”

“I remember.  You’re thinking Jasper’s World has gotten just as bad.  But it works. We are producing food that is healthier and in more abundance than ever before.  How do we fight success?”

“Delegate.” Trenton said with a higher level of firmness this time.   Looking out the portal at the blackness of space he had made up his mind.  He was going to be a farmer.  He hadn’t left his family and traveled in a  fuel cell container in order to become a rich business man.  “As soon as we get back,” Trenton said and then he re-thought his decision, “no, not when we get back.  I’m setting up a meeting now to free us both from all of this foolishness,”  he paused for a second and added, “If you don’t mind, Sally?”

Sally sat on Trenton’s lap instead of in her own chair, “give me some time to talk to my cows too?”

“How much land could two people work if we went all the way back to carrying shovels and dragging irrigations lines?”

Sally opened up her computer pad and snuggled into Trenton’s lap a little more, “could we have a couple little gravity drive tractors?”

“Sure but I think we’re just letting the camel get his nose into the tent.

“I’ll get you a wooden cart to pull but I want one of the little homeowner type gravity drive tractors.”

Sally thumbed through ads and articles on her pad for a few minutes and then added, “I’m thinking about a hundred and sixty acres, that’s the size of a lot of the original farms around your home town, and my pick of fifty of the best breeding stock from the existing herd.”

“Just a hundred sixty acres?  That’s all we need?”

“A hundred sixty acres for me, I don’t know what you and your shovel will need.”

The Reason Why

It seems odd that I would be the one to figure it out but I cannot deny that I have.  I am not one to follow the news or scan the internet so others may have figured it out also.  I would hope they have.

I happened to notice, some time ago, that when I shopped for something on Amazon ads similar products would appear on my FaceBook page.  I chalked it up to people trying to make money but took note that I was being followed.   And then I noticed that if I had watched a video on YouTube the next time I visited YouTube I would be offered more videos of the same type.  For example: if I had a problem with my toaster and wanted to know how to fix the hinge on the door I would look through several videos until I found the one that offered a proper way to repair my toaster.  Now, if I came back to YouTube several days later a good selection of the videos offered on the opening page, before I searched anything, would be videos of toaster repairs.  Not at all earth shattering I know, but there is more.

On my FaceBook news feed I noticed that if I suggested I favored a political bent of a particular candidate I would see more news from that side of the fence.  Key words like: social, red, blue, liberal, conservative, capitalistic and communist would trigger my news feeds.  I posted a Bernie bumper sticker and on FaceBook I became a democrat and was offered a stream of ads and news that supported my beliefs.   I posted a picture of the Trumps holding hands and I became a republican and my page became one republican post after another.

I fail to mention one thing I do.  I erase my history monthly.  I believe this makes the change in news feeds more dramatic.  As a test remove all of your YouTube history and searches.  Now visit a site, auto repair, vacation sites, dance moves, it doesn’t matter.  Look at a few of the same type if you have the time.  Now all that is in your history is this one type of video.  Close YouTube and open YouTube, you will notice that a good percentage of the videos offered, without your doing a search, are like the ones you watched.  This is not a bad thing.  It helps get you to what you want.  This same type of screening helps us find what we want not only on YouTube but on Amazon, and Google, and Yahoo, and Target.com, and yes, on FaceBook.

What I had done by erasing my history on FaceBook was to make my next post or my next like, in the eyes of the FaceBook analytic, everything about me. If my one post was about shoes FaceBook felt I was very interested in shoes.

So what did I figure out?

“The rock man said “Say babe there is nuthin’ pointless about this game. The thing is you see what you wanna see and you hear what you wanna hear. You dig? Did you ever see Paris?”

“No.”

“Did you ever see New Delhi?”

“No.”

“Well that’s it. You see what you want to see and you hear what you want to hear.”

(Harry Nilsson, The Point.)

This has been true for a long time but the internet with it analytics that see ahead to what we want has made this much more true (truer?).  The more a side is chosen, the more likes head in a direction, the more our news feeds and searches lead in that direction.  Our worlds become smaller and more focused.  Soon all we see is the side we have joined and other news becomes fringe and unsupported.  We become more and more polarized.  In politics half of the nation is right and half of the nation is not only wrong but half of the nation is a radical fringe group.  The analytic was not created to do harm it was created to let us see what we want to see.

My Life (part 59)

As Sarah walked off the stage forty foot tall images of her beamed from towers placed among the crowd which allowed people a half mile away from the stage to watch her exit.  The crowd continued to cheer even after she disappeared from view.  And then a small old man leaning on his walker was elevated to the height of the platform. The cheering, clapping and yelling stopped but when five hundred thousand people whispered Henry all at once to each other it was anything but quiet.  Henry Jasper took slow careful steps toward the center of the stage as a upholstered chair with arms was carried onto the stage and placed in the spot Sarah had just spoken from.  Henry’s close friends recognized the chair as the one he sat in while he had his evening coffee in his simple home.  Henry had dressed for the event, his overalls were new and unwrinkled, his boots were black and polished to a glittering shine.  Henry took his time making sure he had a firm grip on an arm of the chair and scooted his feet into proper position before he lowered himself carefully to his chair.  The smile and look of accomplishment on his round face as he adjusted himself comfortably into the soft cushions inspired the crowd to cheer.  Henry waved a hand to let them know that was enough of that but the wave just inspired more cheers.  Henry decided to wait them out and just sat patiently until the cheering died down.  

Without notes or prompter, without any planned speech at all, Henry Jasper began talking, just talking, like he was sitting in his favorite chair in his den.  In the quiet voice of an old man he said, “I never meant to become a king.”  

The crowd chanted, “Henry, Henry, Henry,” for a good sixty seconds before they allowed him to speak again.  

“For some reason I saw the needs of Earth before they became needs and with a lot of help we saved the Earth from starvation before anyone starved.  It’s true, we worked hard but people were dying to save the Earth.  Our jobs were not filled with life and death decisions; unlike those flying fighter planes, or those infiltrating enemy lines, or those who ran to escape clouds of poisonous gases,  our job has been to produce life in order to preserve life.  Not a bad job, if you ask me.”  

The crowd cheered.

Henry closed his eyes and rested a moment until the noise died down, “In my shortsightedness I thought our rescue efforts would be ended about now.  I thought we would be done feeding the Earth and we all would return home about now.”

In unison the crowd shouted, “this is our home,” like, as if, it had been rehearsed.

“I know, it’s my home too.  When it was finally realized that we had not only provided food but we had settled a new planet we looked to a future where the Earth would no longer need us and we would have to survive on more than just agriculture.  Someone, I don’t remember who, suggested we attract tourists from Earth.  It was a pretty good idea and has had some success.  We built places to camp out and costal resorts.  Trenton and Sally have set up a popular, what do you call that thing Trenton?”  Henry looked to where we were sitting just past the edge of the stage, “a dude ranch?” I gave him a shrug and he grinned.  “That’s been pretty successful.  The most successful project of all is the amusement park on the coast not far from here.”  

A cheer and a bunch of foot stomping went up, mostly from university student in the crowd.

“But something unforeseen has happened.”  The crowd went silent.  Unforeseen things were not necessarily good things.  Henry added quickly, “it’s not bad.”  The crowd relaxed.  “We’ve been doing some studies, at least students here at the university have done some studies, I read them,”  Henry paused a second and then added, “I’ve skimmed them.” Some in the crowd laughed a little and some clapped.  Earther’s have decided, for the most part, not to become farmers.  Our studies have come to the conclusion that Earth will remain dependent upon our produce for as long as we are able to foresee.”

Having said what he felt was important Henry started telling stories about how Jasper’s had fought for farmland, stories about old army surplus equipment that couldn’t be trusted, and stories about friendships.  He was no longer giving a speech, he was just an old man reminiscing.  Some of the stories included me.  He mentioned my arriving in a fuel container at fourteen years of age.  It was an old story and most of the crowd had heard it already, luckily he didn’t ask us to stand or anything.  He spoke for well over an hour and not a single person grew tired of listening.  When he stopped and signaled for a little help getting out of his chair people cheered and chanted, “Henry,” the whole time he shuffled off the stage.

My Life (part 58)

Over the years eighty percent of Jasper’s world had gathered onto three locations on Jasper’s World.  None of the populated areas had declared itself a city or taken on a name.

 The area in the fifty miles radius around the university was home to over three hundred thousand residents and could be considered a fair sized town, even by Earth standards, but the crowding of house upon house popular on Earth could only be seen in the mile of closely packed homes around the university.  (On Jasper’s closely packed meant there was only room for a small garden and maybe a goat or some chickens.)

Jasper’s Jubilee was celebrated in each of the populated locations.  One location was within a hundred miles of Sally’s and my home but we took the tube to the university town that was slowly taking on the name Jasper’s Home.

The exit of the tube emptied out within half a mile of the center of the university on a hill that overlooked the entire area. A sea of people stretched from the tube’s exit out as far as I could see.  In my whole life I had never seen so many people in one place, at least not people walking about.  On Earth there were many areas with many more people but the people there were hidden in houses and concealed within domes.  These people were out of doors dwellers.  The residential area around the school had tents pitched in front yards and motor homes and trailers filled the parking areas.  Much of the area beyond the developed areas still held orchards of almonds, peaches and walnuts but the space between each tree held a tent or a trailer, or circle of mats on the ground.  It was estimated that over half the population of Jasper’s World had come to Jasper’s Home in order to celebrate the fifty year jubilee.

My sister Sarah had invited us to use her apartment on campus as a base.  Sarah lived no more than a thousand feet from the tube’s exit but wading though the sea of people and around the tent city the thousand feet took us over an hour.  By the time we reached Sarah’s door we were no longer seeing individual faces, the ocean of humanity had become a single living entity.  As we stepped around some sleeping bags laid out on the grass in the front yard of Sarah’s apartment building we saw her face peeking out from behind her curtains.

Sarah cracked open her front door just enough to let us in, “Quick come in, it’s scary out there.”

“Hi, Sarah,” I grinned at her.  I understood her feelings completely but on occasion  I need to act like a big brother.  “It’s just people.  I thought you were from Earth?”

“Who’s going to clean up the mess?”

“They’ll clean up after themselves, you’ll see.”

“Not only will they clean up after themselves the orchards around here will be completely weed free,” Sally added.  “These people are farmers Sarah, they respect the dirt.”

My Life (part 57)

The fifty year celebration was expected to be the largest single gathering ever on Jasper’s world.  One of the reasons was that the population of Jasper’s World had grown to just over a million people in fifty years.  The other reason was everyone knew Henry Jasper planned to make his farewell speech.  Jasper had grown old in the last years and was seldom seen.  The new segment of Jasper’s world saw nothing different, the richest men on earth often hid in their palaces.  Those of us who had lived on Jasper’s World for thirty or more years missed seeing him around.  Of course, a lot of the new group had seen Henry but they just thought he was an old time farmer.  He still dressed in overalls and half the time when he was out in a field he carried a hoe; just in case he found a stray weed that needed its life ended.  Sally and I saw Jasper more often than most.  Thursday night had become dinner night and even though we spent a good deal of our time half a world away we took the tube across the ocean every Thursday and sat in Jasper’s small dinning room.  The food wasn’t anything special, in fact most of the time it was fast food from a nearby shop, but the long talks in the den were the most special times in my entire life.

On this night my sister Sarah joined us, as she often did.  Sarah had completed negotiations with Earth years before and Jasper’s world had a strong local government.  Sarah had never run for a government post even though she could have easily become the planet’s first president.  Sarah brought dinner, she had friends who knew how to cook; none of us could cook anything that didn’t have directions on the box.  We had left the imported food in its original packaging rather then transport it to serving platters, “unless you want to stay and wash them,” Jasper had said when asked if platters should be used.  Moving from the dining room to the den Jasper used a cane, his rolling walker sat by the front door of his home waiting for longer journeys.  Jasper sat in a high backed chair with arms for easy entry and escape.  Sally and I sat on his soft upholstered sofa and Sarah waited on the three of us bringing coffees made by Jasper’s drink sized replicator.  I had made sure to install my favorite Americano program into Jasper’s machine so my coffee came not only exactly the way I liked it but in my favorite mug. Sarah sat down on the sofa on my other side and we all just sipped hot drinks and enjoyed each other’s company in silence for a pleasant twenty minutes.

Jasper set his still half full cup down on the end table and leaned back into his chair with a slight groan, “old people have to make that noise I’m afraid,” he explained.

“I caught myself making a similar noise when I climbed out of bed this morning,” I admitted.  “We moved a herd into a new pasture yesterday and I can still feel the sore spots in my legs.”

“Youngsters, you don’t know what sore is, give it twenty years and you’ll start to understand,”  he grinned to let us know it wasn’t as bad as it sounded.  “So you’ve decided being a cowboy is just as good as being a farmer?”

“Sally’s the cowgirl, I was just helping out.  Without my farming those cattle would have nothing to eat, but I like having them around.  Cows have pleasing natures.  One of the older girls found herself caught up in some vines a few days ago.  She made herself comfortable on the ground and would let out a good loud bellow every five minutes or so.  In between those shouts for help she was quite content to chew her cud and wait.  I can think of no other animal with that kind of patience.”

“Cats,” Sarah said,  She had a huge black fat cat sitting at home waiting for her to return.

“We should go over the plans for Jasper’s first Jubilee, I’m depending on you for most of the speech making,” he was looking at Sarah, she’s the only one in our group who seems to enjoy public speaking. 

A Short Fiction Story Based In Truth

“I have a tummy ache.” The small lady built of wrinkled white skin her head crowned with bluish white hair in tight curls said.  The gray haired lady she spoke to could only be her daughter.  The daughter had the same eyes and build and the smile was identical. The daughter was at least twenty years younger than the lady sitting in a wheelchair but the daughter could, no doubt, qualify for social security.

“They should have something they could give you for that.”

As the daughter spoke a young girl dressed in blue walked into the room, overhearing she asked, “you need something?”

“She has a tummy ache.”

“I could get some Pepto.”

“How about that mom? Some of the pink stuff?”

“Not, a pill,” the older lady stated.

The matter was taken care of. The problem solved.  The next day the staff met with family to see if their elderly person was being cared for properly.  Everything from diet to pills to what would be allowed nailed to the walls was discussed.

“Any thing else?” the tall, skinny, soft spoken man in charge of the meeting asked from behind glasses that sat a little forward on his nose.

“Oh, there was something, yesterday mother had a tummy ache.  Is there a chance her UTI has returned?” the gray haired daughter asked.

A nurse poked at buttons on her laptop before she spoke, “we followed up with a urine analysis. It was clear,” she punched a few spots on her screen, “we could run a culture.”

The young man, very eager to please, jumped at the idea and it was agreed.

The culture suggested antibiotics might be helpful.  An uneventful week or ten days went by and no new problems were reported.

“We’ve made an appointment to have a ultra scan of your mother’s abdomen taken.”

“I don’t want to do that,” the oldest woman stated.

But the scan was done. Days later when viewed the scan showed a problem with a kidney.  The in house doctor worried the problem might be significant.  On the phone the doctor shared his concerns with the nurse.  The nurse worried until he decided the old lady needed to be taken to the nearby hospital.

“I don’t want to do that,” the oldest woman stated.

But it was too late for that, too many people worried.  Transportation came.  The gurney unloaded empty and loaded with a hundred pounds of lady. Without flashing lights. Without breaking speed laws the older lady arrived at the over crowded hospital.  Her paramedic unit found its place in the queue and the process of attending a hospital began.

“We did tests on her blood and urine,” the confident doctor spoke to the younger older lady with gray hair without looking toward the older white haired lady even though the older lady leaned forward to hear what he said.  “Everything is good.  We did a CT scan, which showed some deformity to a kidney.  We compared the scan to a scan done four months ago and the condition is chronic but has not worsened.  Will you need transportation arranged?”

 

Morning

I open one eye and peek at the world.  The ceiling above my bed is the proper one; a ceiling of tongue and grove slats cut out of a Douglas fir tree very close to the day I was born.  Seeing it appears to be safe I open the other eye.  I watch a tiny spider hanging from a web attached to the grove between two of the boards.  The spider lets out a long single strand of his silk  and falls at least two feet stopping four feet above my eyes.  He waits.  Watching me. I watch him being careful not to blink.  Motionless the two of us, beings from different worlds, without means of communication and nothing, I know of, in common.  The spider chooses to slowly eat his way back to the ceiling and disappears into the crack between tongue and grove.

I slide to the edge of my queen sized bed and let my feet fall over the side as I sit.  I reach for my blue jeans hanging on the footboard of the bed but quickly think better of it.  I bend forward to get a look under the bed.  Amid dust bunnies my white tennis shoes sit with yesterday’s white socks folded on top of them.  I grab the socks, sit up and give them a quick smell test, still good.  I slide the socks on and then reach for the blue jeans.  I stand and pull up the worn  jeans being careful not to bunch up my shorts.  A black sweat shirt draped over the footboard is pulled over my head.  I bend down and retrieve the tennis shoes, already tied, I slip them on and complete my outfit for the day.  My fingers align my head hair.  A quick trip to the restroom and my responsibilities are taken care of.  

Pour water, pack porta filter, turn dial, place coffee mug, a stream of dark brown fluid covered with a layer of light brown foam half fills the mug.  I microwave a measuring cup of hot water and pour it slowly into the cup along the side so as not to disturb the light brown foam.  I carry my americano from the kitchen, through the dinning room, across the living room and out the front door of my stick frame, stuccoed home.  The door latch clicks behind me and I let the screen door set into place without slamming.  My place at the wooden patio chair is familiar.  My cup sits in the ring that marks its place on a square redwood table.  I watch and the sun finishes its climb over the mountains to the east and a new day officially starts.

My Life (part56)

After months of flying to and fro about Jasper’s World Sally and I found the site for our farm.  One the biggest problems was that in order to limit the use of mechanical adaptation of the land the site had to be perfect for farming naturally.  And, naturally, all the best land on the planet had been the first to be put into production.  In the midst of all the politics going on, even though I had the right to just take pretty much any land I wanted, it was important that we not just move in and take over land that had been thought of as someone else’s farm for twenty plus years.  The first land Henry Jasper had put into production was the land on which he, and we, had built our homes.  The university was in the center of the most productive land on the planet.  The highest population density, although still very light, was in the middle of the best farmland on Jasper’s.  Taking over the farmland we considered home was out of the question.  What we ended up doing was to follow the latitude meridian across Jasper’s largest ocean, past coastal communities that were already being farmed.  Fifty miles inland we found a valley that would meet all of our needs almost exactly opposite our home.   Even in this valley crops were already being grown.  In order to claim only undeveloped land my farm would need to be a twenty million acre farm instead of the fifty million acre farm we planned.

“Compromise after compromise, If we work the land the way I had planned it will take five years to get it into production.  How did the original settlers do it Sally?”

“Well, I was very young at the time, but a lot of us babies spent a good sixteen hours a day in day care centers.  When I was old enough to crawl in dirt I was allowed to see my parents working.  I don’t remember seeing either of them resting or recreating.  They worked and slept.  Jasper’s view of Jasper’s World was that it was a front line in the war.  A lot of people look back and understand that Earth would have lost the war without food from Jasper’s.”

“Ed Johnson, the head of tractor technology services, says he could have the twenty million ready to plant by next season.”

“All without a single person getting their hands dirty, right?”

“Or by using single pull gravity drive units we could have five hundred thousand acres ready to plant by next season.”

“Sounds more like it.  And then you plant me some alfalfa right?”

“Sure, it’s about as low maintenance as it gets.  How are the cattle doing?”

“Couldn’t be better, we’ll double the size of the herd this year.  I’m going to make sure every heifer is a cow being followed by a portable milker by this time next year.”  (Sally calls the new born calves portable milkers.)  

“And the poor bulls go to Mc Donald’s?”

“Most of them.  I’ve gone out into the fields and tried to explain that long term family relationships require female babies.  Cows look like they listen but it may be the big brown eyes and long lashes that fool me.  I don’t think they listen at all.”

“It’s really looking like our original plan is not going to happen anytime soon.  Maybe we should just major on the beef production.  Would we have a market?”

“Haven’t really thought of that.  So far I’ve just considered having a herd large enough to eat the weeds on land you haven’t developed yet but I’m sure the girls would like a nice, planted, high protein pasture to roam.  I’ll talk to some people, maybe get the university to do a feasibility study.” 

My Life (part 55)

“There’s someone you should talk to first,” I pulled out my pad and called up Jasper.  His holo image was only three inches tall due to the small holo deck on my phone.  I enlarged the image until he was just a floating, three inch tall head.

“Trenton, how can I help?”

“Sally and I are here talking to Sarah,” I move the phone’s camera so he can see them.

“ ‘Bout time.  Come on over,” Jasper said and then he broke the connection.

“He’ll shoot me,” Sarah said.

“He’s Henry Jasper, he’s not going to shoot anyone.”  There was really nothing to discuss, when he, king of your planet, says come over you come over.  It was never really like that.  Jasper wasn’t that kind of a king.  He had never been and never wanted to be king but Sarah didn’t know him near as well as I did.  She had said hi in passing on a sidewalk and I’m sure she had heard him speak in classrooms and at assemblies but, at that time, I don’t think she has ever just sat and talked to him.  Jasper and I had had long talks about just about everything since my first days on Jasper’s World.  I probably knew him better than anyone.

Jasper’s home was maybe half a mile away if you were a bird.  The university had not been laid out to get anywhere in a hurry.  We walked on red brick walkways, around buildings and then reached the housing development that circled the school.  Jaspers home was just beyond the new houses, near the McDonald’s.

“What’s he going to do to me?  Could he send me back to Earth?  You won’t let him do that will you brother?”

I had been fairly silent for most of the walk.  I could tell Sarah was nervous but when we got close enough to see Jasper’s house I was afraid she would turn around and run if I didn’t try to calm her down.  “You know, as well as anyone, that Jasper is a good guy.  I think you’ve built up a wall that just isn’t there.  Everything is going to be fine.  Just relax, hear what he has to say and then tell him what you think.  Be honest and open.  Don’t worry about hurting his feelings, you won’t.”  She calmed down a little but I added, “he likes you Sarah.”

“What do you mean he likes me?  You talk about me to him?  How could you do that brother?”

“We talk about everything Sarah.  He’s not the enemy and neither are you.”  With that said the door to Jasper’s small home opened and an old man in a long robe smiled at us and waved us into his home.  

Jasper explained a few things in just a few words as he prepared coffee and brought out some cookies.  He told Sarah about his will and my becoming owner of most of the world; something I had not shared with anyone beside Sally.  He told her of my plans to create a low tech farm of about fifty million acres.  And then he told her something I had not heard.

“So I’m going to retire Sarah.  I’ve accomplished everything I set out to do.  I never wanted a planet of my own I just wanted to help the Earth through some hard times and Earth is going to do fine with or without us.  Jasper’s World is going to need some protections, call them treaties, or agreements.  Jasper’s will most likely need some sort of defense and I’m not the person to see to that.  I don’t see how anything about this is going to be easy but Jasper’s needs to form a government and separate itself from the rule of the Earth. 

I could see the workings of Sarah’s mind through her eyes as she shifted gears from fighting for freedom from Henry Jasper to fighting the politics and overwhelming structure of Earth.  I saw surprise, and then understanding, and then fear.  She’s my sister I’ve always been able to read her like a book.  Before she spoke I could see that she had focused on the next steps she would have to take.

“I’m going to need a lot of your help Mr. Jasper.”

“Call me Henry, Sarah.

Sorters (part 4)

“I’m impressed, I’ve spent hours trying to explain how I change shape.  You seem to understand without being told.”

“Well I have seen you as three very different life forms and you did seem to be a bit light as a human.  You made a very realistic chicken, I’d say the part of you that is the real you must weight no more than, say, ten pounds?” 

“Right, ten pounds four and a half ounces earth weight.  How’d you figure that?”

“Just a guess.  So you’re not from around here.  Outer space?  A planet far far away?”

“Pretty far away.”

“Space ship?”

“Well..”

“You become the space ship!  My goodness I’d never have thought of that!  What kind of drive?  Do you use fuel?”  

The old man was getting pretty excited but he continued to take bites of his hamburger not wanting it to get cold, I assume.

“It’s gravity drive.  I make myself into disks that repel or attract and move quite rapidly through space.”

“And when you’re in outer space pretty much all you consist of is these disks?”

“Yes, and some navigational equipment.”

“So that answers my next question,” he doesn’t look unhappy but he’s not quite as excited.

“You were thinking I could take you for a ride.”

“But you can’t because when you fly from planet to planet every part of you that is really you is being used to form the necessary technology.”

“You have an interesting mind.  Technology is much more solid.  Live forms just require ballast.”

“Ugly bags of mostly water.”

“Pardon?”

“Oh, sorry, it’s from an old T.V. show, Star Trek.  This life form calls humans ugly bags of mostly water.”

“I see.  Right now I’m mostly air.  To weigh the right amount for a body this size I’d need to take on around twenty gallons of water.  I’d end up being over ninety percent water.”

“And I’m about sixty percent water.  You make a decent ballon.”

“Thank you, I try.  But enough about me.  I’m here on earth to study humans.  You’re one of the most interesting humans I’ve ever met  and I don’t even know your name.”

“Name’s David,” he leaned forward and shook my hand, something humans love to do.  “And what should I call you?”

“When I’m a human male I use the name Jack.”

“Good to meet you Jack.  What are you called on your home world?”

“We don’t vocalize on my planet, we just think to each other.”

We talked for another full hour.  He ordered a few more waters for me and a coffee for himself.  He was eighty-five years old and had retired from a carpentry job twenty-six years ago.  He had a family, two girls and a wife.  His wife didn’t care for the hamburgers at the restaurant so she had stayed home.  He told me a lot about how families on earth interact but he said his family was probably different from others.  He had no way of really knowing.